Image is my own via IG: @marialetiziaxo

What is life. No, I don't mean it in a deep philosophical way, I mean it in the most basic 21st century way of saying what is going on. I feel as though my life has gone from one extreme to the other, and all within the space of around 10 weeks. So allow me to gather my series of post it notes (it seems like any idea I have is written on one these days) and fill you in on the chaos that is my life.

Let's go back 10 weeks and see where it all started; first of all I was seeing boy. Yes. A real life, human boy. And he was wonderful - is wonderful - but he was moving to Australia. If you've read my previous few posts you'll notice a general theme of Australia in them and that was because I was so inspired by his move. I think I ended up looking into it more than he did, and he was the one moving. But anyway, he was moving and it was just a little bit heart breaking. Typical luck to finally find someone that you feel that you could potentially be with, only for them to then leave you alone and crying in a corner. Well, the last part was an exaggeration, but it wasn't a nice feeling. So this is what triggered the next chapter - we decided to stay together to see how it would work out, but then I got my friend on board and we booked visa's and one way flights for Sydney (18/6/2015). Ok, I know what you're thinking, "you're moving across the world to be with a boy ARE YOU INSANE?!". I might be? Maybe? Who knows! The fact is I always said that after university I would move to America or Australia. So maybe his move did edge my decision towards the Aussie coast a little more in the end, but at least I'm doing something that isn't exactly a new idea to me. I'm setting up my own life and not depending on anyone else, so it is perfectly acceptable. And anyway, you have to take some risks in life, otherwise you're stuck in the same position twenty five years down the line, wishing you had done something differently. I really trust my impulsiveness; it hasn't lead me astray just yet - and without sounding too nauseating he's a keeper. I can feel it.

Renzo Piano, Sydney by @dianakbui via VSCO

Around this same time I was also beginning to think about what I wanted to do with my career in fashion and which avenues I was going to go down. I didn't have a clue. For someone who normally has everything figured out, this was difficult for me to deal with. Not having a vision is truly fk@!ing terrifying. However now that I've been back at uni and diving into my final ever semester of my degree I have seen the light. And let me tell you, it's marvellous. It's glittering and brilliant and shaped like visual merchandising. I've always had a love for it, but now that i've been thinking about my final major project (FMP) i've decided that it really is the career path for me and the goal is now firmly in sight. So now i'm going to have three sketch books, a note pad and about 1000 post it notes in various colours to attract my attention whenever I walk by them. 

If you've ever done a degree in fashion, you'll realise just how chaotic life gets when you're thinking about the end result - what you're going to do for not only that, but what's going to happen when you leave the comfort that is university. It's funny how we look at it now as though riding a bike in the Sahara Desert would be an easier option, but I'm trying to slow down and savour every piece of it. I'm never going to get another first chance at it and afterwards I know i'm really going to miss this little bubble. So although i'm now the worlds biggest insomniac and I've swapped Newcastle's treble vodkas for triple shot latte's in the morning, this new level of determination and absolute will to succeed has got me both excited and scared. The latter isn't a bad thing though - if something doesn't scare you, then it isn't worth doing. True story.

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